Today I am very happy to host a blog tour spot for my agent-mate, Brenda Corey Dunn, and her amazing novel, DEPENDENT.
Brenda has generously provided a guest post for this tour stop –
Five Things I Didn’t Know About Life As A Military Spouse
By Brenda Corey Dunne
This summer marks my seventeenth year as a military spouse, and twenty-five years associated with the Canadian Forces. When my husband and I met, we were both in uniform. I had a relatively good idea what I was getting myself into when we married. I knew about long hours and unlimited liability. I knew about deployments and frequent moves and increased divorce rates. I had lived it, after all.
But there were some things that even I hadn’t accounted for. Some things that even I—an ex-military spouse—was unprepared to experience. No one could have told me these things, because I wouldn’t have believed them. And I would have thought I could handle it because, hey, I had worn the uniform, so shouldn’t I know all about it already? Boy, was I wrong.
- The heartbreak of a child missing their Daddy. No one can prepare you for the two a.m. night terrors of an eight year old. Or the empty, lonely feeling of a month of empty calendar days ahead. Or a birthday not shared. This is just one you have to deal with in your own way.
- The chaos of moving. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard—“Oh, you’ve done it before, it must be easy for you now!” Um, no. It’s not. Every move is different. Sure, some aspects are easier—I don’t have a newborn to hold as I watch our worldly goods get swallowed up by a moving van—but others are not. Moving teens is tricky. Friendships get harder to break. School situations get more complicated. And really, you get tired of it all. But I also LOVE to see new places. I love the ability to start fresh in a new place—the adventure of sightseeing and exploring new stomping grounds. My family always tries to see the fun stuff, and we focus on that.
- The strength of friendships. Wow. You know the song—Make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver and the other gold. It’s so true. Military spouses have a lot to deal with, and we tend to depend on friends a lot. Maybe your spouse is deployed and you have a broken toilet. Maybe you need someone to watch your child while you take another to the dentist. Maybe you just really need to sit down and have a coffee with someone who’s been there. Military friendships pop up in the strangest of places, and they last a long time.
- The pride in our national anthem. There’s something about that uniform that magnifies national pride—be it military, paramedic, police, fire-fighter or other service. Any relationship—however distant—multiplies the gut feeling that we live in a great country. And for me, when the national anthem plays, that feeling explodes beneath my ribs.
- The kindness of strangers. This kind of goes along with number 3. People appreciate what our spouses do. And they will often go above and beyond to help a military spouse in need. From home-made cookies on move in day, to a helping hand when we need one. Military spouses often have to trust strangers, and that trust is often rewarded tenfold. Sure there are other instances of trust gone awry, but in my experience there will always be someone there to help when I need them. And I hope I can always do the same for someone else in need.
About the Author:
BRENDA COREY DUNNE, trained as a physiotherapist, worked several years as a Physiotherapy Officer in the Royal Canadian Air Force before meeting the love of her life, RCAF Colonel Tom Dunne, and becoming a military dependent herself. Brenda currently resides on a small hobby farm in Eastern Ontario, Canada, with her husband and three children.
About the Book:
Intense, emotional, inspiring. These are the only words to describe the novel that took the author over five years to write due to the emotionally draining story that’s drawn tears from everyone who’s read it.
When 45-year-old Ellen Michaels loses her husband to a tragic military accident, she is left in a world of gray. For 25 years her life has been dictated by the ubiquitous “They”—the military establishment that has included her like chattel with John’s worldly goods—his dependents, furniture, and effects. They—who have stolen her hopes, her dreams and her innocence, and now in mere months will take away the roof over her head. Ellen is left with nothing to hold on to but memories and guilt, and an awful secret that has held her in its grip since she was 19. John’s untimely death takes away her anchor, and now, without the military, there is no one to tell her where to go, what to do—no one to dictate who she is. Dependent deals with issues ever-present in today’s service families—early marriage, frequent long absences, the culture of rank, and post-traumatic stress, as well as harassment and abuse of power by higher-ranking officials. It presents a raw and realistic view of life for the lives of the invisible support behind the uniform.
Buy or Learn More About the Book:
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